Finding a grad school is a lot like dating.
You start by checking them out sorta surreptitiously. You know, you ask your friends what they're like, you Google them, look at their online pictures, read up on their interests. Then you pick a few and you email with them. Chat it up with them, exchange a few emails. Find out more about them, their "hobbies", their "family" (department), what they're about.
Then you pick a few of those schools and you set up a date. They take you out for lunch; you try to impress them, they try to impress you. They show off their facilities, introduce you to all their "family" and extol their virtues. You check them out, try to find out if they've got some secret skeletons or fatal flaw. Are they lying about being a non-smoker? Are they just after your money or do they care about you as a human being? Are they "divorcing" students left, right and center or do their exes have nothing but wonderful things to say? Is their intra-family warfare going on? Are you compatible?
Finally, you decide who you want to spend the next two (or three or four or five) years of your life with. Then you ask them out and you sit back and wait....
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
Life Worth Living
I think it's too easy for society to promote assisted suicide as a right rather than work to overcome the barriers to supporting older, ill and disabled people to live fulfilled and valuable lives 
Liz Carr
This quote is a sharp insight into life. How easy it is to dismiss people rather than to work at breaking down barriers! As this open letter explains, even the most completely wheelchair-bound person has great worth.
"Dear Noel"
"...Maybe that's why assisted suicide seems to be increasingly seen as an option by disabled people, not just those who are terminally ill. Worn down, feeling like a burden and with their needs unmet, it's perhaps understandable why people like yourself might choose death. But surely before we even consider assisting people to die, we need to assist them to live. One of the main problems I have with assisted suicide stories like yours, Noel, is that the media perpetuates the idea that to be disabled or ill must be the greatest tragedy of all. Disability inevitability equals no quality of life..."
This quote is a sharp insight into life. How easy it is to dismiss people rather than to work at breaking down barriers! As this open letter explains, even the most completely wheelchair-bound person has great worth.
"Dear Noel"
"...Maybe that's why assisted suicide seems to be increasingly seen as an option by disabled people, not just those who are terminally ill. Worn down, feeling like a burden and with their needs unmet, it's perhaps understandable why people like yourself might choose death. But surely before we even consider assisting people to die, we need to assist them to live. One of the main problems I have with assisted suicide stories like yours, Noel, is that the media perpetuates the idea that to be disabled or ill must be the greatest tragedy of all. Disability inevitability equals no quality of life..."
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Latinum utilum est
Gee, Latin's not only fun, it's useful, too!
Here's an educational way I can now procrastinate:
http://latincrossword.blogspot.com
Here's an educational way I can now procrastinate:
http://latincrossword.blogspot.com
Monday, November 10, 2008
Remembrance Day- Nov. 11
Usually around this time I am all into Remembrance Day. I do find Remembrance Day rather emotional, which seems strange because I had no direct family involved in war--aside from my great grandfather on my mother's side, who fought in the Anglo-Boer War in South Africa before he got married, had children and immigrated from Britain to Canada. That's him, at the age of 19, pictured above. All we really know is that he served with the Medical Corps and he never spoke about his war experience, unfortunately. I've learned enough about the human cost of the waging of war that I shudder and shy away from contemplating what it must have been like for him.But this year I'm taking a bit of a pass on Remembrance Day. I'm wearing my red poppy, yes, but I'm going to be missing the Remembrance Day services because I'll be out of town. But because I am an emotionally sensitive creature, to some degree at least, and I have other things going on my life that require my energies, I'm taking a bit of a pass on it. I don't feel quite able to cope with it. I'm trying to avoid the heart-rending ads on TV, the broadcast stories on radio and the sad photos in the paper.
While I feel a little guilty for taking a pass this year-- after all, I try every year to thank an elderly vet personally and I dip into a bit of Canadian war reading from time to time--I figure that having spend almost two years working at a military museum I've done enough remembering to get by this year without too much.
But don't worry, I haven't forgotten.
Christmassy
Hot chocolate. Maroc clementines, juicy and sweet. Mini Christmas lights strung around the ceiling, cheering up a dreary day. Raspberry danishes. A big, fat Saturday newspaper. Feeling cozy and comfortable in my little den. Aaaaah. I'm in a Christmassy mood.
Of course, I'll be sick of Christmassy things soon enough-- particularly the kitschy, cutesy stuff-- but I do love the holiday season and some colourful lights in November can't be amiss. I am in no particular rush to have snow, although I do find this period of cold, dreary rain after such a warm Indian Summer a little trying. In fact, my body finds it very trying. But as I wandered through Canadian Tire yesterday on an errand, I took in all the Christmas decorations and started feeling festive.
Of course, I'll be sick of Christmassy things soon enough-- particularly the kitschy, cutesy stuff-- but I do love the holiday season and some colourful lights in November can't be amiss. I am in no particular rush to have snow, although I do find this period of cold, dreary rain after such a warm Indian Summer a little trying. In fact, my body finds it very trying. But as I wandered through Canadian Tire yesterday on an errand, I took in all the Christmas decorations and started feeling festive.
Monday, November 03, 2008
Five Course Dining
Where can you get a delicious five-course meal for only $20? Every year the alumni association at university hosts a dinner-seminar by a professional etiquette person. During the five courses you learn how to eat and conduct yourself properly at a seated dinner for a job interview, networking or a wedding. It was really fantastic and actually took a bit of concentration to learn how to use cutlery in ways I was not familiar with. Here's a summary of what I learned. Please take note, because I'll be watching you the next time we dine out!
Enter and exit your chair stage right (that is, the right side of the chair when you are standing behind it or sitting in it.) Tuck the chair in under the table when you're not seated on it, and when you are seated on it, pull it in close to the table so wait staff can maneuver.
Always follow the host's lead. The host sits at the head of the table, with the guest of honour to his or her right.
The host may start the dinner with a toast. If you are the one being toasted, you never drink to yourself. You never clink glasses. Simply lift your glass slightly and make eye contact with the others.
Sit with your feet flat on the floor, not with your legs crossed. In some cultures it is rude to show the soles of your feet, never mind that you will kick your tablemates when you cross your legs.
The table should be kept perfectly set until all guests have arrived and are seated. Event hen, do not unfold your napkin or drink from your water glass or eat bread until the host has started.
Set your napkin in your lap and unfold it there. Do not shake it out over the table, tuck it into your shirt or tuck it into your belt. The napkin lays like a triangle, with the folded edge towards your body. Use the corners to dab the corners of your mouth and use the middle to wipe your fingers.
If you need to excuse yourself (eg, for a trip to the restroom), lay your napkin on the seat of your chair or on the back of your chair-- not the table. At a high-quality place, the wait staff may remove it and replace a new one in your lap when you return. At the end of the meal, pick your napkin up by the middle and lay it beside (not on!) your plate.
Remember to sit up straight.
Just like your mother taught you, you use the cutlery from the outside in. Dessert cutlery is at the top of your plate, and you move it down into position after the preceeding course has been cleared. If you don't have a separate knife for better, you use the knife you will use in your main course.
Your bread and butter plate is always on your left, your drink is always on your right. Think of BMW: bread, meal, water.
Always, always, always take small bites. You never know when someone is going to ask you a question. As I tried to explain to my mother, a business dinner is not for eating to get full: you are being observed on how you connect and get along with others and conduct yourself.
To eat the dinner roll: break off and butter one bite-sized piece at a time. I learned this when I was in France so fortunately I've had this habit for a long time. Do not bite into or cut your roll as though it were a sandwich.
When passing around the rolls, butter or any platter: pick up whatever is in front of you and offer it the person on your left first. Then you may take some and then pass it around to the right. (ARE YOU LISTENING, FAMILY? This simple rule could save so much of the annual Christmas dinner noise and confusion!) Never, never help yourself first.
Never reach for things. When passing a water jug/creamer, pass it with the handle outwards, to the other person.
Never lift salt and pepper shakers from the top. Hold on to them at the sides. Always, always, always pass them as a set, even if the person has only asked for one. When you are finished, if no one else wants them, set them down in front of you.
Never lean silverware on your plate with the handle on the table. Lay it in the proper resting position: your butter knife across the bread plate, coffee spoon across the saucer, soup spoon across the plate. The knife blade always faces in. To rest your fork and knife during the meal (eg, when you want a sip of water), they should be at the four o'clock and eight o'clock positions, with knife blade inwards and fork tines downward. When you're finished the course, place both the knife and fork at the five or six o'clock, tines down and edge inward.
Never rest your soup spoon in the bowl. It is too easy to send flying into someone's lap--not a good thing if they're a potential employer.
Always wait until everyone at the table is seated and served before beginning a course.
Hold your soup spoon like a pencil. Take the soup from the top, where it is coolest (never blow on the soup!), filling the spoon about 3/4 full and scooping away from yourself. Run the spoon against the bowl as you lift it to remove any drips and bring it your mouth. Resist the habit to lean over your soup bowl. Do not slurp.
No elbows on the table-- as my mom always said, if you wanted to eat like you were in a barn you could take your dinner out to the barn and eat there. Rest your wrists against the table edge and leave hands comfortably relaxed.
Never put dirty cutlery on the table cloth.
Etiquette is about being aware ofyour surroundings.
If you need to remove a bone or pit or bit of grizzle from your mouth, do so with your thumb and index finger quickly and set it on the edge of your plate.
Use BOTH a fork and a spoon to eat dessert. The fork secures your dessert to the plate while you use the spoon to actually eat it. The only time you don't use both fork and spoon is if it's something like ice cream.
By the way: people made fun of me when I returned from the UK using my fork and knife differently but guess what? I use it properly! You turn the fork over so you use the knife to guide the food on to the tines. You do not hold it upwards like a scoop. Fork in your left, knife in your right and don't switch them back and forth.
Do not cut up all your food at once; rather, cut off food one bite at a time.
A number of these things I already knew and did. But after learning how civilized proper dining can be, family get togethers are going to be that much more of a challenge to bear! I think if I ever get married I am sending my whole family for etiquette lessons before the reception. (Not that my family are pigs; they're just not any more etiquette-minded than the average family either.)
Hmmmmm, I'll have to find a nice restaurant for my birthday party this year so I can practice!
Enter and exit your chair stage right (that is, the right side of the chair when you are standing behind it or sitting in it.) Tuck the chair in under the table when you're not seated on it, and when you are seated on it, pull it in close to the table so wait staff can maneuver.
Always follow the host's lead. The host sits at the head of the table, with the guest of honour to his or her right.
The host may start the dinner with a toast. If you are the one being toasted, you never drink to yourself. You never clink glasses. Simply lift your glass slightly and make eye contact with the others.
Sit with your feet flat on the floor, not with your legs crossed. In some cultures it is rude to show the soles of your feet, never mind that you will kick your tablemates when you cross your legs.
The table should be kept perfectly set until all guests have arrived and are seated. Event hen, do not unfold your napkin or drink from your water glass or eat bread until the host has started.
Set your napkin in your lap and unfold it there. Do not shake it out over the table, tuck it into your shirt or tuck it into your belt. The napkin lays like a triangle, with the folded edge towards your body. Use the corners to dab the corners of your mouth and use the middle to wipe your fingers.
If you need to excuse yourself (eg, for a trip to the restroom), lay your napkin on the seat of your chair or on the back of your chair-- not the table. At a high-quality place, the wait staff may remove it and replace a new one in your lap when you return. At the end of the meal, pick your napkin up by the middle and lay it beside (not on!) your plate.
Remember to sit up straight.
Just like your mother taught you, you use the cutlery from the outside in. Dessert cutlery is at the top of your plate, and you move it down into position after the preceeding course has been cleared. If you don't have a separate knife for better, you use the knife you will use in your main course.
Your bread and butter plate is always on your left, your drink is always on your right. Think of BMW: bread, meal, water.
Always, always, always take small bites. You never know when someone is going to ask you a question. As I tried to explain to my mother, a business dinner is not for eating to get full: you are being observed on how you connect and get along with others and conduct yourself.
To eat the dinner roll: break off and butter one bite-sized piece at a time. I learned this when I was in France so fortunately I've had this habit for a long time. Do not bite into or cut your roll as though it were a sandwich.
When passing around the rolls, butter or any platter: pick up whatever is in front of you and offer it the person on your left first. Then you may take some and then pass it around to the right. (ARE YOU LISTENING, FAMILY? This simple rule could save so much of the annual Christmas dinner noise and confusion!) Never, never help yourself first.
Never reach for things. When passing a water jug/creamer, pass it with the handle outwards, to the other person.
Never lift salt and pepper shakers from the top. Hold on to them at the sides. Always, always, always pass them as a set, even if the person has only asked for one. When you are finished, if no one else wants them, set them down in front of you.
Never lean silverware on your plate with the handle on the table. Lay it in the proper resting position: your butter knife across the bread plate, coffee spoon across the saucer, soup spoon across the plate. The knife blade always faces in. To rest your fork and knife during the meal (eg, when you want a sip of water), they should be at the four o'clock and eight o'clock positions, with knife blade inwards and fork tines downward. When you're finished the course, place both the knife and fork at the five or six o'clock, tines down and edge inward.
Never rest your soup spoon in the bowl. It is too easy to send flying into someone's lap--not a good thing if they're a potential employer.
Always wait until everyone at the table is seated and served before beginning a course.
Hold your soup spoon like a pencil. Take the soup from the top, where it is coolest (never blow on the soup!), filling the spoon about 3/4 full and scooping away from yourself. Run the spoon against the bowl as you lift it to remove any drips and bring it your mouth. Resist the habit to lean over your soup bowl. Do not slurp.
No elbows on the table-- as my mom always said, if you wanted to eat like you were in a barn you could take your dinner out to the barn and eat there. Rest your wrists against the table edge and leave hands comfortably relaxed.
Never put dirty cutlery on the table cloth.
Etiquette is about being aware ofyour surroundings.
If you need to remove a bone or pit or bit of grizzle from your mouth, do so with your thumb and index finger quickly and set it on the edge of your plate.
Use BOTH a fork and a spoon to eat dessert. The fork secures your dessert to the plate while you use the spoon to actually eat it. The only time you don't use both fork and spoon is if it's something like ice cream.
By the way: people made fun of me when I returned from the UK using my fork and knife differently but guess what? I use it properly! You turn the fork over so you use the knife to guide the food on to the tines. You do not hold it upwards like a scoop. Fork in your left, knife in your right and don't switch them back and forth.
Do not cut up all your food at once; rather, cut off food one bite at a time.
A number of these things I already knew and did. But after learning how civilized proper dining can be, family get togethers are going to be that much more of a challenge to bear! I think if I ever get married I am sending my whole family for etiquette lessons before the reception. (Not that my family are pigs; they're just not any more etiquette-minded than the average family either.)
Hmmmmm, I'll have to find a nice restaurant for my birthday party this year so I can practice!
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